Indie Designs Online

It was on.
We’ve been in Philly for a bit, but I realize now that I was trying too hard before, to try to talk myself into being, I don’t know, optimistic? Hopeful? Pleasant to be around? None of it worked, but we are here and off of Long Island. So there’s that.
But the thing is (or ONE of the things anyway) I’m NOT an optimist and I was just trying to talk myself into it. (Didn’t work for ME but it fooled everyone else into thinking I was “normal”.)

So, here we are. A blizzard and Arctic blast keep me indoors, Harvey Weinstein and #METOO haunt my days, and an unmedicated mood disorder keeps me isolated at all hours. Having fun yet? Oh yeah, and the holidays just past. So there’s that too.

So, after several back and forths, as these things go, we may have procured the castle-house after all, I mean for real.  Maybe.  The thing was, the seller would not give us a financial reprieve for us to fix those things found to be needed during the inspection (things like the roof, the chimney (tho we have no fireplace!), the front porch needs to be redone, and we need a new stove (that we know of among the appliances they left).  So, after all that, there’s no room to open the kitchen wall or build that roofdeck or even remove that hideous rock wall anytime soon.  We had to decide if we still wanted it – we decided, yes.

But then again, we haven’t gone to the dreaded Closing Day  – set, unless this last tussle changed it, for April 14th.  Move Day is April 15th.  (We move whatever survived Sandy that have been in boxes for three years, so it’s not a whole house worth.   That unveiling will either be like Christmas as a spoiled child or a PTSD nightmare!)  (But I hope it’s a happy reunion with my tchotchkes nonetheless.)

As it is, we’re out of New York.  Yes, we’re only in New Jersey, but we’re headed north west – toward Pennsylvania.  (Bear wants to be close to his girls, in midstate New York and Long Island (with two and 1/2 grandkids) and both our sibs north of the city – it would be nice to be able to join family for dinners – and then go home to ones own bed!

We’re looking forward to relearning the city, and anxious to learn Pennypack park – my pace is altered now, but Bear’s old too, so the pace should be OK for both of us.  (It’s shameful to be talking about these things but I swear, some days I feel like I’m in my nineties!)

Go enjoy the holidays!  And think of us in your prayers!

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We found a house.  We lost the house.  We keep looking for a home in which to live …

OK, I need to remember:  I saw a flock (a FLOCK!) of Robins yesterday!  Change is gonna come!

I don’t know why I’m sounding so fucking cheerful.  I mean, this actually sucks!

We’re in New Jersey.  (We’ve left an area ravaged by Superstorm Sandy …. only to go to another area that was ravaged by Sandy.  But we’re out of New York at least!)

And we’re looking for a permanent spot.  We wanted to land in PA, but we might not be able to afford it!  (Taxes are ridiculous!)  So we might have to expand our search to include Delaware.

The saga continues ….

Two years and several caseworkers later, we’re told we’re still on “a list” of properties to be acquired by the state.

We’ve all known what it feels like to believe what others say, because, hell, what else are we to do?!  But we also know how it feels to believe someone’s “word”, only to have it proven otherwise (usually after much time has already passed).  So, altho we may still be on a list somewhere, we’ve put the house on the market to sell “as is”.

In the meantime, my arthritis gets more and more painful, and one of our ancient cats is “decorating” our house for showing/smelling to others.

I’m tempted, on days like this, to just walk away….

I’ve left New York and am in Michigan!  (They’ve decided not to have a summer here, it’s too cold, and it took over a week to settle down, but I’m not home!)

I’m now breathing more regularly (as opposed to hyperventilating), but I hope even that will get better over time.

I’ll go up north after Labor Day. ( It didn’t even occur to me to wait until all the other tourists have gone home, but I will if it means that someone up here will join me!  There’s a Dark Sky Park up there that I’m anxious to see.)  But until then, I’ll probably just hang out here for a few weeks until people get sick of me.

When last I heard, altho we’d been told we weren’t on “the list”, we were assured by our caseworker that we were.  So, who knows?

I’m going away for a few months – to rest, recoup, regroup.

I’m leaving tomorrow to drive around the great state of Michigan.  Hey, if this goes well … who knows?  Colorado, maybe??

Anyway, we found out today that the waiting we’ve been doing for 1 1 /2 years?   All for naught.  We weren’t, in fact, and despite assurances from our case worker, on the “list”.   And that means, dear readers, tough shit for us (maybe with a sorry, I hope?)  – unless they’re given more funds for future buy-outs and acquisitions.   Holding my breath I am not!

Bear can’t leave just yet, but if I don’t go now I can’t be held accountable for however I might react once this new news gets processed completely.  Therefore, for my sake, for Bear’s sake, for the sake of sanity in this world, I’m going to go shake my legs and try to get moving!

With luck (I’m a techno-idiot) and reception (it’s been weird up there in the past), I’ll be keeping up this blog again as well as checking email.

Bon voyage!

No, nothing new to report.

But I did see a crocus, so I can only assume that spring will actually happen this year.  Someday.  In the meantime, in a few days we’re due anything from a dusting to 2 feet of snow.  Wouldn’t it be better,  since they obviously don’t really know, if they just said that they’re unable to predict the weather?  Oh, but then it wouldn’t be any fun would it?!

Gotta get out of here!

This fall, no matter what the state of things here, I’ll take off for several weeks.  Then, when Bear gets his vacation in October we’ll, maybe,  go to Colorado.  I’d like to see Mesa Verde, but I’d also like to look at possibly living there.

Gotta look into “borrowing” a dog to go with me in case I have to travel alone on the first trip….

But I can’t wait here any longer!  Besides, soon I might not be as able as I am today.  (Arthritis has claimed one digital victim just since the flood happened that washed away my art studio – where I did such things JUST to delay that catastrophe!)

If only I could recall the guts it took, several decades ago, to move to New York City.   Guts.  Balls.  Whatever.